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The TrueSelf | The Most Personal Site Ever! To Inspire Me And You...
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About The Trueself

My name is Natalia and I have created this website out of pure playfulness. Admittedly, the reasons for this website to exist are nobler than just a simple desire to play. Most notably, I have created it out of my deep conviction that not all of us – me included – get a chance to always be true to ourselves.

 

From early age we are expected to be Mr. and Mrs. Normals, abiding by the rules, conforming to the stereotypes and above all never challenging the status quo. It is both my deep objection to these superimposed expectations as well as the deep fear to “rock the boat” of my own life that motivated me to launch this website.

 

As a transgendered person I have, for the most of my life, experienced a deep gender dissonance. Sometimes it felt like deep shame, accompanied with stress or even anxiousness. Other times it surfaced as jealousy or anger at other peoples who seem to enjoy taking their gender for granted. But most of all, it felt like sadness of some sort – a chronic and persistent grief over the fact that I am so wrong in my body.

 

Having finally understood, and accepted my condition at late 30ies I was able to quickly move forward with my life by setting my physical and social transition in motion, one that is underway to this day. I have been all too well aware of the terrible social and economic losses that my transformation could bring about in my life, including the loss of friends, separation from my family, social exclusion, and economic hardship. And yet, by honoring my desire to live as a woman and by placing it in the center of my life I at last get a sense that my life is worth something, and that I am true to myself.

 

And so, I hope that at www.thetrueself.me I not only will find reconciliation with myself but that I will promote an authentic way of living, by modelling it on my own life, as a transgendered person, in a desperate quest for her true self.

 

I am convinced that all of us want to sometimes be something else than Mr. or Mrs. Normals. And if that’s how you feel, then this is the right website for you. 

 

But that’s not where I want the story to end. Beyond my personal and hopefully inspiring disclosures I want this site to voice the thoughts and opinions on topics that are dear to me, and which are probably also dear to others. And so, expect a masonry-style melange of posts addressing sometimes difficult issues such as climate change and environmental degradation. Expect discourses on happiness, love and spirituality. And don’t be surprised to occasionally see book reviews or just random stuff about positive psychology, astronomy, languages or tons of other things.

 

And this brings me to saying: Be who you are! Have the courage to accept yourself as you really are, not as someone else thinks you should be. Do not take action or pretend to be someone else for the sake of gaining acceptance.

 

And if you do this, I think you have a fair chance of being quite a bit happier.

Check Out My Blog

 

I might not be the best writer in the world, but I’ve got a great deal of interesting stuff to say. Why don’t you take a look at my blog.

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    Pourquoi Chaque Homme Doit s’Eveiller au « Masculin Sacré »

    Ce sont des hommes qui font les guerres. Ce sont des hommes qui violent et tuent des femmes et des enfants. Ce sont des hommes qui sont responsables du trafic sexuel et de la prostitution. Ce sont des hommes qui sont à la tête des plus grandes institutions financières qui n’ont que l’argent et le pouvoir en tête, au détriment de toute une population qui en subit les conséquences. Ce sont des hommes qui massacrent les animaux par milliards chaque année dans le monde......

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    It was on the Tuesday, the 5th of July, that I dressed for the very last time as Natalia, and felt as her. It seems like ages ago, in a different reality and dimension, in a different universe altogether. I did not intend to bury her on that day, I it turned up to be the effective dawn of my womanhood, at least for now as I see it. I wanted to be and to live as a woman throughout more than 30 years of my life, starting in my very early childhood, so it was an end of a life-long dream. It seems that my female identify is not supposed to come to light, and must be casted away....

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    With this turbulent past I get a sense of appreciating life as it is, and of me as I am (or as I was). There is something sacred about my body, which makes me think I should not try re-engineering it. And there is something militant about my mind that makes me think I should not attempt looking for gender meanings that the society imposes on “males” and “females”....

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    Well, I could say that my life has been in many ways a true bitch. But I will not say this. I have been blessed in many ways, and cannot count the good fortunes that have been extended to me. Some problems in my life have been awful, unbearably so, but they offered me the learnings I would have otherwise never gained. My quest for gender identity is probably the biggest bitch I had in my life. But without it and other tremendously negative influences in my life I would not be who I am today, full of self-love and love for others. So, I am grateful for the wounds, knowing they will heal one day leaving me so much of a richer person....

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    I've once singed up to receive monthly the Astronomy Magazine, a wonderful publication that truly gives insights into what's going on over our heads. As a reward for my curiosity the Astronomy Magazine revealed to me an amazing and eye-opening book written by Robert Lanza and Bob Berman, and carrying a somewhat sinister title "Biocentrism: How Life And Consciousness Are Thy Keys To Understanding The Nature Of The Universe". Not only did I get the book but I've read it open-mouthed, and I cannot recommend it enough. But be warned, you must be a bit of a scientist to digest it since it is not only abstract but philosophical on top of it....

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